Friday, January 22, 2016
Saturday, January 9, 2016
GC8V vs. FC3S
Special thanks to ᴅᴀᴚᴉᴏ ᴠᴏᴌᴀᴚᴉᴄ and for being the two newest recruits to the "Idiot Dick Wankers" that poisoned the reputation of Initial D fans this month. Pilfering site content and deleting negative commentary pointed your way really shined a light on what amazingly stupid narcissistic douchebags you both are. May your tires hook the gutter improperly and flip you into a ravine.
Did you soil your pants already, reader, pondering this race in your head while you waited for your pizza-for-one to cool off in your "studio apartment" that is your mom's attic? Well, at least you've proven yourself literate enough to follow me on this late night ride of words. If you can't read, I will provide a picture for you to look at and +1 because it's tangentially related to the real life documentary series about my life called Initial D.
Get at me. My son Takumi may be regarded as some sort of drift wizard, but he's a tadpole in a big pond, and a lot of bigger fish are starting to look his way for an easy meal. He's nowhere near his true potential, and I believe that his emotional episodes lately are curbing his progress, probably for a long stint. I've been hitting the mountain as he does his little practice runs, and it's almost laughable how easy it is to catch up to him. Back when I first got the Impreza, he put up a good fight before dropping back in my rearview. Now, it's hardly what I would call a challenge. I need to put a fire under his ass to get him motivated, if the Sport of Kings is what he truly wants to do with his life. Professional racing is nothing like unsanctioned kiddie racing in street cars.
I taught Takahashi Kunimitsu everything he knows, and he passed that on to Tsuchiya, who still reveres me as a deity. Takumi learned most of his skills on his own, which shows in their imperfection. He refuses to learn anything from me ever since he was on a team with some big name hotshot drift doctor, instead saying he wanted to do it on his own. At least he's as stubborn as his old man. One day he'll share a smoke with me, unfiltered.
Unfortunately, that's not going to happen soon, as I'm pissed at him for destroying his car again. He raced some kid in Kanagawa and ended up blowing the engine. He still won, because he's my kid, but it's an expensive fix that he can't cover by himself. I took out some funds to cover the costs of repair, and he declined, as he's now on the market for a newer car. I guess seat time in the Impreza opened his eyes to more technologically advanced driving.
He also told me a bit about his plans for the future. His racing team disbanded after that race, since their leader had other things to do, but he wants to keep driving. He wants to drive for a living. I'll keep it under wraps until he makes a hard choice on the matter, but stay tuned for more information right here.
Did you soil your pants already, reader, pondering this race in your head while you waited for your pizza-for-one to cool off in your "studio apartment" that is your mom's attic? Well, at least you've proven yourself literate enough to follow me on this late night ride of words. If you can't read, I will provide a picture for you to look at and +1 because it's tangentially related to the real life documentary series about my life called Initial D.
I only share cool images.
Get at me. My son Takumi may be regarded as some sort of drift wizard, but he's a tadpole in a big pond, and a lot of bigger fish are starting to look his way for an easy meal. He's nowhere near his true potential, and I believe that his emotional episodes lately are curbing his progress, probably for a long stint. I've been hitting the mountain as he does his little practice runs, and it's almost laughable how easy it is to catch up to him. Back when I first got the Impreza, he put up a good fight before dropping back in my rearview. Now, it's hardly what I would call a challenge. I need to put a fire under his ass to get him motivated, if the Sport of Kings is what he truly wants to do with his life. Professional racing is nothing like unsanctioned kiddie racing in street cars.
I taught Takahashi Kunimitsu everything he knows, and he passed that on to Tsuchiya, who still reveres me as a deity. Takumi learned most of his skills on his own, which shows in their imperfection. He refuses to learn anything from me ever since he was on a team with some big name hotshot drift doctor, instead saying he wanted to do it on his own. At least he's as stubborn as his old man. One day he'll share a smoke with me, unfiltered.
Unfortunately, that's not going to happen soon, as I'm pissed at him for destroying his car again. He raced some kid in Kanagawa and ended up blowing the engine. He still won, because he's my kid, but it's an expensive fix that he can't cover by himself. I took out some funds to cover the costs of repair, and he declined, as he's now on the market for a newer car. I guess seat time in the Impreza opened his eyes to more technologically advanced driving.
He also told me a bit about his plans for the future. His racing team disbanded after that race, since their leader had other things to do, but he wants to keep driving. He wants to drive for a living. I'll keep it under wraps until he makes a hard choice on the matter, but stay tuned for more information right here.
Saturday, November 21, 2015
Out of Jail
I'm back, Japan. Two years ago, authorities cuffed me with evidence that I had allowed my son to drive without a license. Apparently there's no statute of limitations on that. Extremely long story short, I just got out of jail and finally have access to decent cigarettes again. The kid never visited. He was too busy skirt chasing, I guess. Not that it really mattered. He's about as entertaining as a velvet Elvis when it comes to conversation.
Did you know that they only give you ¥2000 when you get out of the joint? That's nowhere near enough to pay for a ride home, especially after buying three packs of cigarettes and a lighter on the way to the train station. Takumi said he couldn't pick me up because, surprise surprise, he was busy in another prefecture getting into trouble. I need to find a woman and make another kid that doesn't suck as much.
More to come. The business is being reopened soon.
- "Bad News" Bunta
Friday, August 2, 2013
Projected Delinquency
I've been told (third party, no less) that my son has been invited to join a racing team. At first I was elated, since he'd actually be doing something with his life, but then I heard that it was a street racing team. As in, completely illegal. They even set up a page on the world wide web advertising their proposed race schedule, including locations, drivers involved, and exact times. It's as if they're daring the authorities to come and throw all of them straight into a prison bus.
Back in my day, we kept it quiet. There was no such thing as the internet, but we certainly didn't post up flyers and newspaper ads showcasing our plans for the coming season. That's insane. Let the driving do the talking, not your mouth. There's a reason nobody steals my cars or sends me death threats, because they know who they're messing with, without the need for a website flaunting my many qualifications to scare them away.
Anybody that wants a lesson in humility, and how a car can really handle, should form a line behind me. I know every bump and crack in that road, and you'll know every fine inch of my taillights.
Back in my day, we kept it quiet. There was no such thing as the internet, but we certainly didn't post up flyers and newspaper ads showcasing our plans for the coming season. That's insane. Let the driving do the talking, not your mouth. There's a reason nobody steals my cars or sends me death threats, because they know who they're messing with, without the need for a website flaunting my many qualifications to scare them away.
Anybody that wants a lesson in humility, and how a car can really handle, should form a line behind me. I know every bump and crack in that road, and you'll know every fine inch of my taillights.
Monday, July 29, 2013
New Car, New Problems
The old hatchback has returned to the road with new life under the hood, after a lot of tweaks and probably a pint of blood lost from my knees during testing. The thing can turn a lot better than it used to, so much that I had to pin my leg to the side of the car just to stay planted in the seat while turning. The g-forces were that crazy. The kid took it for a few runs. He seems to be having problems getting it to the hotels for delivery and back home in the same timeframe as he used to in the old car. What gives? It turns out, he confessed that he, quote, "can't drive it fast because it behaves differently". I think I found my secret weapon to keep the kid from racing cars anymore: just give him the keys to a car he doesn't know how to drive.
All the same, time is money. I "forgot" to add a key part to the car that would allow it to go faster than a set limit,specifically to stop the kid dead in his tracks if he wanted to goof off and try to race it again. Maybe he'll figure out, maybe not. So long as deliveries are made, I'm happy.
I'm going to make a small admission. I used to be involved in racing. I won't say how involved, since I know the police can see this webpage, but I have extensive knowledge of the sport. However, I wasn't in Akina at the time, so I still have nothing to do with the apparently infamous Bunta Fujiwara that used to tear down the mountain roads with his eyes closed... oh, those were the days...
Wait, where was I? Oh yeah. Damn kids and their backwards caps.
All the same, time is money. I "forgot" to add a key part to the car that would allow it to go faster than a set limit,specifically to stop the kid dead in his tracks if he wanted to goof off and try to race it again. Maybe he'll figure out, maybe not. So long as deliveries are made, I'm happy.
I'm going to make a small admission. I used to be involved in racing. I won't say how involved, since I know the police can see this webpage, but I have extensive knowledge of the sport. However, I wasn't in Akina at the time, so I still have nothing to do with the apparently infamous Bunta Fujiwara that used to tear down the mountain roads with his eyes closed... oh, those were the days...
Wait, where was I? Oh yeah. Damn kids and their backwards caps.
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Deliveries Returning Soon
We have a new engine for the car, and my son was kind enough to donate funds to purchase it. You have no idea how hard it is to find a solid running engine for an old car like this. I wanted something that could withstand the foolish little mistakes the kid keeps making with it longer than the original engine, and I nailed one down after making a few phone calls to friends in the business. The engine is already in the car, but I'm not satisfied with it just yet. It handles roughly right now, so we're going through some aches and pains (literally) trying to tame it enough that it can be driven safely. Think of it like breaking a wild horse. And my poor old knees.
Recently, I've had a few kids come in asking me to give them tips and tricks for driving down the mountain roads "as fast as possible". Why would anybody want to throw their life away so recklessly, and why are they asking me of all people? My advice: mind the corners, mind oncoming cars, and mind traffic law. Anybody stupid enough to race around that road is bound to be discovered in a burning wreck the next morning. You could hit a guardrail, or get caught in the rain gutters. Both options result in a hefty repair bill, so why risk it out there? In my day, we passed time chasing girls, not a time record on an old mountain road. Half of these kids would have their own kids by now, if they were real men.
Speaking of real men, I'm not a street racer and never was, because that's for little boys. Get out of my store, you crazy kids! Who keeps coming up with these rumors that I raced cars? You've got the wrong guy! Just because I know a thing or two about cars, and happen to have just purchased a newer car that looks like a racing car (still waiting on delivery) doesn't mean that I have anything to do with racing.
Recently, I've had a few kids come in asking me to give them tips and tricks for driving down the mountain roads "as fast as possible". Why would anybody want to throw their life away so recklessly, and why are they asking me of all people? My advice: mind the corners, mind oncoming cars, and mind traffic law. Anybody stupid enough to race around that road is bound to be discovered in a burning wreck the next morning. You could hit a guardrail, or get caught in the rain gutters. Both options result in a hefty repair bill, so why risk it out there? In my day, we passed time chasing girls, not a time record on an old mountain road. Half of these kids would have their own kids by now, if they were real men.
Speaking of real men, I'm not a street racer and never was, because that's for little boys. Get out of my store, you crazy kids! Who keeps coming up with these rumors that I raced cars? You've got the wrong guy! Just because I know a thing or two about cars, and happen to have just purchased a newer car that looks like a racing car (still waiting on delivery) doesn't mean that I have anything to do with racing.
Can't I just like nice cars?
Friday, July 26, 2013
The Kid Killed My Car
I swear, kids these days.
I got a call early this morning regarding "an old hatchback" that had apparently broken down sporting a Fujiwara Tofu Shop decal on the side. We only have one delivery vehicle, so I knew it was that idiot son of mine finally getting what was coming to him. I had to rent a wrecker to come get him. He was stranded on the old Akagi mountain road of all places. I'm sure that the time he got to spend waiting for me was more than enough to contemplate just how much he'd screwed things up.
As it turns out, he's been racing that poor car against these newer fancy things on the mountain roads for fun. For fun! The nerve of these brats. He says he lost to a "Land Evo", whatever that is. Sounds Korean. I don't know what to think about that. I'm not exactly mad, considering that he seems to be already have been punished enough with the guilt of destroying my car. He even offered to pay for repairs with his paltry part time job salary. I intend to take him up on that offer, but it won't be to repair the car. He fried the engine past the point of repair. It would be more expensive to fix the existing block than it would be to just put a new engine in there, so that's what I'll eventually do. Until then, he's going to be using a bicycle for deliveries and earning my forgiveness.
Apologies to customers for longer delivery times. This is a temporary inconvenience and we will be waiving delivery fees to compensate.
How is it that his child could be possessed to race a 10-year-old car against these newfangled crayola cars with big power and no spirit? I bought that car brand new with my hard earned money when the brat wasn't even in preschool. He should show a little respect for the elderly.
I got a call early this morning regarding "an old hatchback" that had apparently broken down sporting a Fujiwara Tofu Shop decal on the side. We only have one delivery vehicle, so I knew it was that idiot son of mine finally getting what was coming to him. I had to rent a wrecker to come get him. He was stranded on the old Akagi mountain road of all places. I'm sure that the time he got to spend waiting for me was more than enough to contemplate just how much he'd screwed things up.
As it turns out, he's been racing that poor car against these newer fancy things on the mountain roads for fun. For fun! The nerve of these brats. He says he lost to a "Land Evo", whatever that is. Sounds Korean. I don't know what to think about that. I'm not exactly mad, considering that he seems to be already have been punished enough with the guilt of destroying my car. He even offered to pay for repairs with his paltry part time job salary. I intend to take him up on that offer, but it won't be to repair the car. He fried the engine past the point of repair. It would be more expensive to fix the existing block than it would be to just put a new engine in there, so that's what I'll eventually do. Until then, he's going to be using a bicycle for deliveries and earning my forgiveness.
Apologies to customers for longer delivery times. This is a temporary inconvenience and we will be waiving delivery fees to compensate.
How is it that his child could be possessed to race a 10-year-old car against these newfangled crayola cars with big power and no spirit? I bought that car brand new with my hard earned money when the brat wasn't even in preschool. He should show a little respect for the elderly.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)